I’m emotionally on the mend, thanks to thoughtful friends inviting me to dinner and lunch, family calling to check in, a little retail therapy, and really good sad songs to listen to.
Surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, I haven’t been binge-y. I felt the urge to today, but I did the old wait it out trick and sure enough, I was able to make it to dinner without giving in. In fact, I even did a little grocery shopping and bought myself some chia seeds, which are a) super trendy and b) a giant mystery to me. I saw a breakfast somewhere on the Internet of a piece of toast slathered with almond butter, piled with banana, and then dusted with chia seeds, so I’m gonna give that a go tomorrow morning. Trying to get back into the practice of eating breakfast, which has not really been a practice since December.
Last night, my friend T invited me to her place and she and her boyfriend grilled up some portobello mushroom burgers (they’re veggies), plied me with champagne, and generally perked me up. At one point, I said something about feeling silly for all this feeling sad for a relationship that didn’t even make it to three months, but T shushed me. Feeling things is important, and judging oneself for them can’t lead to much good. She’s right. I feel a little silly to have friends call me up all day checking in to see if I’m OK, like my husband just left me or something, but I’m glad I have them, and I’m glad I have feelings in the first place, and it’s OK. Right? It’s OK to be a bit sad.
All this has really informed me of what I want: I really do want to love someone and be loved. I’m not gonna jump back into the dating game right away and I’m wary of getting swept up into something that falls apart too quickly, but I think it’s worth it.
For now, though, I have my family and friends and baseball season and travel to look forward to, and yes, this blog and this project and therapy and getting things done.
Plans for this weekend include a long beach hike: how’s that for the swing of things!